The year was 2017 and my girlfriend had just broken up with me and I was completely lost and that was when I found solace in photography.
Before this, I had made the decision to become a photographer and had just finished interning in Lagos, Nigeria, with a photography company and had returned to my hometown to see how I could build my practice. All I owned was a Canon G10, a speed light and a couple of accessories but I had big dreams then it all came to a grinding halt in October of that year when she called it quits.
My world stopped, and I had no idea how to proceed. I had very few friends but no one close enough that I could confidently confide, and slowly, my sadness turned into depression and that depression soon made me suicidal.
In other to find the will to live, I threw myself into photography and understanding how everything worked. I became obsessed with the photographic process and lighting and how to shape said light. With assistance from my family, I bought my first entry-level DSLR (the Canon 1300D) and a few other essentials and started a business with the little experience(s) I had from my time interning.
There’s very little I can’t recall from that agonizing time, but it’s all made me better because I truly found the beauty of photography. The craft became a coping mechanism, but soon after, that coping mechanism became my passion, and I poured all of my heart and soul into understanding how cameras and all the various forms and types of lights worked. The idea that you could sculpt the light in a given environment and create something that otherwise wouldn’t exist kept me from the edge, and it still does to this day.
It’s been five years since then, and I’m now just starting to unravel how much of myself I put into understanding this craft and, better yet, lifestyle. I’m now plagued with social anxiety but having my cameras gives me a sense of place and a shield to hide behind whenever I’m in public.
Whilst I do need therapy, that is a necessity I currently cannot afford, but till that day… I continuously find solace in photography.
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All Images shot by Ufana Ishoyor. Used with Permission.
